sconee:

unsentpromises:

sconee:


i think he wants to hold your hand…

so i suddenly remembered how cute warm bodies was and thought, hey that would make a gr8 AU u v u tadah

It’s a ridiculous situation, but that isn’t a rarity when it comes to Tony Stark. The very same Tony Stark that once upon a time in a world that was  about one-sixteenth as screwed as it was now that had been the kind of person who did what he pleased, when he pleased. In many ways this personality trait had not changed. Just as childish as he was years ago one might have considered this a mark of stagnancy, not the indication of a great willingness to refuse to embrace a dimmer, more depressing reality that threatened to consume anyone who dared not resist. 
If pressed Tony would confessed if asked (by Pepper or Rhodey, and probably Carol too when she wasn’t particularly in the mood to strangle him) that it had been a dumb idea. Leaving the safety of the walls to venture out on the chance he could complete one of the inventions he’d been trying to pass by Fury. However, it was hardly his worst idea. 
And it had been how he’d met Cap.
Only Happy had known what he was up to that night when he had climbed out of his window like a rebellious teenager he most certainly was not any longer. The window escape route had more to do with Pepper in the next room than the patrols that their unhealthily paranoid overlords followed nightly.
His friend hadn’t been able to stop him. On one hand it almost made him feel guilty when Happy believed him when he made those insincere promises like ‘no, of course, I’d never dream of going out at night alone because I’m not suicidal’. Not that he was, suicidal that is. But he had something that would be worth the risk. The chance for them to have a truly infinite, unpolluted water source would be in everyone’s best interest and surely worth a little rule breaking. It was heroic even, in his humble opinion.
So he’d left and because his name was Tony Stark, but not really, he’d run into trouble. A hunting pack of them had spotted him. Naturally he ran. Let it never be said that anyone could claim he was suicidal as he was actively running to save his skin, and you know other soft apparently tasty bits. 
When his foot had caught on a stray root making a desperate sprint Tony had thought it was the end for him. Ankle throbbing he’d pulled himself around the other side of a tree, back pressed tightly against the back that caught his hair uncomfortably. A hand over his mouth to muffle his attempt to catch his breath in the hopes of being able to hide. Heart thudding in his ears and pulse strong enough in his throat that it ached he’d waited. 
Not able to help flinching he pressed back against the tree until he swore someone might have called it indecent behavior with a deciduous, he’d listened to them stumble around looking for him. By some miracle they had kept on moving, sounds of movement becoming further and further muffled. 
Hand still hovering over his mouth but no longer pressed against his lips to stifle every sound he might make, he let it lower slowly. Tony had just let his head drop back against the tree and heaved a sigh and let his eyes close when he heard movement in the brush again. Hair on end all over again his eyes had snapped out, only to widen at the sight of one of them staring dead at him. Panic had hit him as unpleasantly as snow dropped down your jacket, sliding over his skin and definitely leaving him wanting to rub his hands over the gooseflesh it raised. He thought a number of things in that shot span of time, from how his ankle wouldn’t let him get far to if he went the wrong way he’d run into more than the one that had found him. If it was better for it to be the one or not depended on how you looked at it.
He’d lost his weapons earlier, one hit wonders he’d come up with that had more than done their job. Tony hadn’t planned to run into this many of them, which might have been a tactical mistake on his part. 
"At least it’s not Pepper with one of her shoes." Because her aim was deceptively good and heels hurt. 
Tony wasn’t the type to go quietly but he could do the math. It, because thinking of them as people made it too hard to kill them, had a good fifty pounds on him at least depending on how loose that tattered sweatshirt was. Plus another few inches in height on Tony. Not to mention they were annoyingly resilient in ways that your run of the mill humans just couldn’t compete with. Humans did things like bleed out when they lost a limb.
While trying to find a way out Tony found himself in the strangest position he’d been in since…ever. This might have even topped that “event” that Rhodey barred them from speaking of again. Scratch that, definitely beat it though it lacked in the area of feather boas.
It was leaning over him smelling just as dead as each and everyone of them did, sniffing at his hair and along the side of his face. Tony did his best not to think too intently on what happened when they got their hands on you - thoughts of dismemberment and a feeding frenzy pressed at his conscious mind relentless. He did think he’d never see anyone again and shit he felt bad about lying to Happy more than ever now. Pepper would cry and be pissed. Rhodey wouldn’t admit to crying to and probably curse up a blue streak, maybe even insist someone go looking for him. Carol, he’d bet his favorite AC/DC album, would back Rhodey up on that one because she was the type to refuse to accept anything without it being in her mind to. Plus they were all pretty great friends and he was going to miss them.
Only it just shifted back and crouched in front of him staring. No biting, no growling, no scratching.
The moment dragged on with Tony not daring to move, breathing as shallowly as he could manage even if he might have been a little hysterical. 
It was just staring at him like it was curious. The body language reminded him of a confused puppy, non-threatening and head tilted to the side. Though the head tilt thing was kind of creepy for the slightly impossible angle of it, reminds Tony more of someone with a broken neck. So it reminded him of a cute dead undead puppy. Filthy skinned and hair a greasy mess, because he was not entertaining the idea of other bodily fluids from other bodies being responsible for the separated dirty look - nope, not going there. The hoodie had seen better days, Tony could see a long blue string hanging well past the ground that had been there for how long that left one of the cuffs barely hanging on. A hint of paler blue where the hoodie had unzipped somehow gave him pause, bringing home just how ridiculous this all was.
"Is that seriously a Captain America t-shirt? Pretty sure eating people isn’t patriotic." There were flecks of blood darkened around the collar and down toward the no longer white star. There was an even larger, darker stain under it that made Tony laugh, more than a touch manic.
It grunted at him. Not harsh but loud enough that it made Tony’s heart slow. But not attack followed. Instead it leaned in again and got inches from his face. The smell hit him fully force and made his stomach turn.
Eyes shut tight he felt like a child revisiting days of hiding under covers from monsters that lived under his bed. No one was there for be called for when the monsters felt too real, not that they’d really been there when he’d actually been a kid either but that was ancient history. 
The presence eased away. Curiosity made him open his eyes to see It, it deserved a capital “I” at this point for the lack of maiming, just looking down at him. The staring lasted a little longer. Long enough that Tony thought when this guy had been alive he might have been a looker with eyes that blue.
Then It started to wave a hand at him, a flailing motion that suited an epileptic fit which made all of no sense to him. But it wasn’t a threat.
"What?"
Another grunt. A little louder this time.
"Sorry I don’t speak zombie."
A huff, and Tony could swear he heard something like exasperation in the noise.
"Look I was never very good at charades. I appreciate the not eating me thing, can you keep that up? That would be nice."
A growl but it didn’t last long which was good for his nerves because growls were usually a bad sign. The arm flung out to the side, toward the trees in a direction that Tony wasn’t sure led to, then back to flopping in the air in front of Tony. 
"What’s that Lassie, Timmy’s in the well?"
The silence and stare that were his response this time made him think his levity was truly wasted.
"You want me to go somewhere? Inviting me to dinner?"
It shuffled back closer to him and stuck his hand out in his face now. 
He would have found one of the weird ones, or been found by them. Still this was a better option than the majority would have offered him. With his ankle really beginning to throb Tony didn’t think he had much choice in the matter.
"Alright. But we aren’t holding hands." Hands to hold back onto the tree despite the roughness of the bark against his palms Tony pushed himself up. The ankle was highly unappreciative of the gesture. Weight shifted off of it he blew out a gusty breath to draw in a deep one to replace it.
"And we aren’t going steady…Cap." Because Tony refused to call him "It" any longer. 

OH MY GOSH OM FG KIJSNGFIJ THIS IS SO CUTE THANK YOU!!! ;OO;

sconee:

unsentpromises:

sconee:

i think he wants to hold your hand…

so i suddenly remembered how cute warm bodies was and thought, hey that would make a gr8 AU u v u tadah

It’s a ridiculous situation, but that isn’t a rarity when it comes to Tony Stark. The very same Tony Stark that once upon a time in a world that was  about one-sixteenth as screwed as it was now that had been the kind of person who did what he pleased, when he pleased. In many ways this personality trait had not changed. Just as childish as he was years ago one might have considered this a mark of stagnancy, not the indication of a great willingness to refuse to embrace a dimmer, more depressing reality that threatened to consume anyone who dared not resist. 

If pressed Tony would confessed if asked (by Pepper or Rhodey, and probably Carol too when she wasn’t particularly in the mood to strangle him) that it had been a dumb idea. Leaving the safety of the walls to venture out on the chance he could complete one of the inventions he’d been trying to pass by Fury. However, it was hardly his worst idea. 

And it had been how he’d met Cap.

Only Happy had known what he was up to that night when he had climbed out of his window like a rebellious teenager he most certainly was not any longer. The window escape route had more to do with Pepper in the next room than the patrols that their unhealthily paranoid overlords followed nightly.

His friend hadn’t been able to stop him. On one hand it almost made him feel guilty when Happy believed him when he made those insincere promises like ‘no, of course, I’d never dream of going out at night alone because I’m not suicidal’. Not that he was, suicidal that is. But he had something that would be worth the risk. The chance for them to have a truly infinite, unpolluted water source would be in everyone’s best interest and surely worth a little rule breaking. It was heroic even, in his humble opinion.

So he’d left and because his name was Tony Stark, but not really, he’d run into trouble. A hunting pack of them had spotted him. Naturally he ran. Let it never be said that anyone could claim he was suicidal as he was actively running to save his skin, and you know other soft apparently tasty bits. 

When his foot had caught on a stray root making a desperate sprint Tony had thought it was the end for him. Ankle throbbing he’d pulled himself around the other side of a tree, back pressed tightly against the back that caught his hair uncomfortably. A hand over his mouth to muffle his attempt to catch his breath in the hopes of being able to hide. Heart thudding in his ears and pulse strong enough in his throat that it ached he’d waited. 

Not able to help flinching he pressed back against the tree until he swore someone might have called it indecent behavior with a deciduous, he’d listened to them stumble around looking for him. By some miracle they had kept on moving, sounds of movement becoming further and further muffled. 

Hand still hovering over his mouth but no longer pressed against his lips to stifle every sound he might make, he let it lower slowly. Tony had just let his head drop back against the tree and heaved a sigh and let his eyes close when he heard movement in the brush again. Hair on end all over again his eyes had snapped out, only to widen at the sight of one of them staring dead at him. Panic had hit him as unpleasantly as snow dropped down your jacket, sliding over his skin and definitely leaving him wanting to rub his hands over the gooseflesh it raised. He thought a number of things in that shot span of time, from how his ankle wouldn’t let him get far to if he went the wrong way he’d run into more than the one that had found him. If it was better for it to be the one or not depended on how you looked at it.

He’d lost his weapons earlier, one hit wonders he’d come up with that had more than done their job. Tony hadn’t planned to run into this many of them, which might have been a tactical mistake on his part. 

"At least it’s not Pepper with one of her shoes." Because her aim was deceptively good and heels hurt. 

Tony wasn’t the type to go quietly but he could do the math. It, because thinking of them as people made it too hard to kill them, had a good fifty pounds on him at least depending on how loose that tattered sweatshirt was. Plus another few inches in height on Tony. Not to mention they were annoyingly resilient in ways that your run of the mill humans just couldn’t compete with. Humans did things like bleed out when they lost a limb.

While trying to find a way out Tony found himself in the strangest position he’d been in since…ever. This might have even topped that “event” that Rhodey barred them from speaking of again. Scratch that, definitely beat it though it lacked in the area of feather boas.

It was leaning over him smelling just as dead as each and everyone of them did, sniffing at his hair and along the side of his face. Tony did his best not to think too intently on what happened when they got their hands on you - thoughts of dismemberment and a feeding frenzy pressed at his conscious mind relentless. He did think he’d never see anyone again and shit he felt bad about lying to Happy more than ever now. Pepper would cry and be pissed. Rhodey wouldn’t admit to crying to and probably curse up a blue streak, maybe even insist someone go looking for him. Carol, he’d bet his favorite AC/DC album, would back Rhodey up on that one because she was the type to refuse to accept anything without it being in her mind to. Plus they were all pretty great friends and he was going to miss them.

Only it just shifted back and crouched in front of him staring. No biting, no growling, no scratching.

The moment dragged on with Tony not daring to move, breathing as shallowly as he could manage even if he might have been a little hysterical. 

It was just staring at him like it was curious. The body language reminded him of a confused puppy, non-threatening and head tilted to the side. Though the head tilt thing was kind of creepy for the slightly impossible angle of it, reminds Tony more of someone with a broken neck. So it reminded him of a cute dead undead puppy. Filthy skinned and hair a greasy mess, because he was not entertaining the idea of other bodily fluids from other bodies being responsible for the separated dirty look - nope, not going there. The hoodie had seen better days, Tony could see a long blue string hanging well past the ground that had been there for how long that left one of the cuffs barely hanging on. A hint of paler blue where the hoodie had unzipped somehow gave him pause, bringing home just how ridiculous this all was.

"Is that seriously a Captain America t-shirt? Pretty sure eating people isn’t patriotic." There were flecks of blood darkened around the collar and down toward the no longer white star. There was an even larger, darker stain under it that made Tony laugh, more than a touch manic.

It grunted at him. Not harsh but loud enough that it made Tony’s heart slow. But not attack followed. Instead it leaned in again and got inches from his face. The smell hit him fully force and made his stomach turn.

Eyes shut tight he felt like a child revisiting days of hiding under covers from monsters that lived under his bed. No one was there for be called for when the monsters felt too real, not that they’d really been there when he’d actually been a kid either but that was ancient history. 

The presence eased away. Curiosity made him open his eyes to see It, it deserved a capital “I” at this point for the lack of maiming, just looking down at him. The staring lasted a little longer. Long enough that Tony thought when this guy had been alive he might have been a looker with eyes that blue.

Then It started to wave a hand at him, a flailing motion that suited an epileptic fit which made all of no sense to him. But it wasn’t a threat.

"What?"

Another grunt. A little louder this time.

"Sorry I don’t speak zombie."

A huff, and Tony could swear he heard something like exasperation in the noise.

"Look I was never very good at charades. I appreciate the not eating me thing, can you keep that up? That would be nice."

A growl but it didn’t last long which was good for his nerves because growls were usually a bad sign. The arm flung out to the side, toward the trees in a direction that Tony wasn’t sure led to, then back to flopping in the air in front of Tony. 

"What’s that Lassie, Timmy’s in the well?"

The silence and stare that were his response this time made him think his levity was truly wasted.

"You want me to go somewhere? Inviting me to dinner?"

It shuffled back closer to him and stuck his hand out in his face now. 

He would have found one of the weird ones, or been found by them. Still this was a better option than the majority would have offered him. With his ankle really beginning to throb Tony didn’t think he had much choice in the matter.

"Alright. But we aren’t holding hands." Hands to hold back onto the tree despite the roughness of the bark against his palms Tony pushed himself up. The ankle was highly unappreciative of the gesture. Weight shifted off of it he blew out a gusty breath to draw in a deep one to replace it.

"And we aren’t going steady…Cap." Because Tony refused to call him "It" any longer. 

OH MY GOSH OM FG KIJSNGFIJ THIS IS SO CUTE THANK YOU!!! ;OO;

(Reblogged from sconee)

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

(Reblogged from listoflifehacks)

theheirsofdurin:

i watched sam’s reaction to bucky taking the wheel frame by frame and i’m laghuing so hard he looks so scandalised 

image

??????????

image

DID HE JUST- ?????

image

sT EVE WHAT THE HELL ?’!? STEVE DID U SEE THAT’?!

STEVE HELP !!!

image

(Reblogged from selfmadesuperhero)

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

(Reblogged from listoflifehacks)

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

(Reblogged from listoflifehacks)
Played 30,713 times

lunaticus-anima:

twenty | one | pilots - Ode To Sleep

I’ll stay awake, ‘Cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight.
Why am I not scared in the morning, I don’t hear those voices calling,
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,
I swear I heard demons yelling, those crazy words they were spelling,
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone.

(Reblogged from dirkstriders)
cancerianstargazer:

jerkpattillo:

ungratefullittleshit:

i’m feeling sick

no no no no

OH GOG

cancerianstargazer:

jerkpattillo:

ungratefullittleshit:

i’m feeling sick

no no no no

OH GOG

(Reblogged from cancerianstargazer)
Played 1,367,493 times

lunarch-sounds:

tentacuddles:

thecutestofthecute:

royai-sexual:

ursorum:

tylersthings:

Forgive me padre for I have siiiiiiinned

I can’t believe someone made a fucking audio post for that stupid deer picture I made. this is unbelievable. I’ve reached a new level of sentience. I am unstoppable. I am the alpha and the omega.

this is my favourite fucking picture on the internet and the fact that it has an accompanying audio post makes me wanna cry tears of joy.

This is amazing oh my godd

tylersthings
your fucking post is on my dash again.

the amount of notes on this is unholy

(Reblogged from shockwarning)

colonelcheru:

martininamerica:

LittleKuriboh opens a box.

I’m glad we’re friends Martin.

(Reblogged from colonelcheru)

ifyoulaugh:

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

That was one hell of set up for that last gif

(Reblogged from barfing-rainbows)